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SmartyKids

3 ways to ask your child about school day without asking a direct question

Do you have a teenager at home?

A child who has already grown up. A child who changes, changes his behavior and way of thinking. He changes his perspective on life and others.

A teenager begins to turn into an adult. A person who strives more and more for self-reliance and independence. A person who begins to reinvent himself.

That is why raising a teenager is a real test for every parent.

In this long process of change and self-awareness, every child is vulnerable. The older a child grows, the more difficult it becomes for parents to communicate with him and maintain close, friendly relationships. And not infrequently, teenagers build a barrier between themselves and the world of adults.

Often there is a feeling of misunderstanding and the child does not believe that adults understand him. He does not believe that they accept his thinking and his interests. This “distrust” builds a huge wall between the child and the parents.

In order not to break the relationship with the child, parents must make effort. Sometimes they even must resort to various psychological tricks.

A common problem children do not want to share with their parents is difficulties at school.

When you were a teenager, did your parents ask you directly, “How was school today?”. Most of you probably responded with a monotonous, “Oh well.”

Have you asked your teenager the same question? You probably got the same answer. “Well, okay.”

What does the teenager think when he hears this question? How does he perceive this question? Does he know exactly what you want to hear?

Today we have prepared some clever ways to ask your child how he’s doing at school. Without asking him a direct question, because to which question it is quite natural to get a laconic answer.

⁉️Sounds weird?

See for yourself!

Ask more interesting questions.

If you ask your teenager the same question every day, you’ll probably get the same minimalist answer. Over time, this question will have almost no value to the teenager, and neither will the answer. Try to diversify the conversation with some more interesting questions, such as:

“What did you like most about school today?”

“What were you doing in subject X?”

“What did you study for subject X?”

“What did Mrs. Y tell you today?”

“Which subject did you like the most today?”

“If you had to describe your day at school with an emoji/emoticon, which one would you choose?”

When your child answers, don’t immediately move on to the next question, because the conversation starts to feel like a cross-examination. This will make the teenager feel uncomfortable, to hang up and start answering briefly or stop responding at all.

Discuss the child’s answer before asking another question. The child needs to understand that you are not mechanically asking him, but that you are really interested.

Share

When you look back on your teenage years, have you ever had a one-way conversation with your parents about school? Question – response. Try to make two-way communication. First, share something from your personal experience with your child and only then ask your child a question about the current topic. For example:

Share a funny situation that happened to you during the day. Only then you can ask if anything interesting has happened to him as well. You can share something you’ve learned and then ask him if he can share something interesting to teach you too.

You can share a story with your friend from the day and then prompt the child to share something interesting about his friend/friends from the same day.

Listen

It is important to be interested in a child’s success at school, but we must also not forget that our teenagers still spend more time outside of school than in it.

Don’t forget to have conversations about different topics that have nothing to do with school. For example, discuss the child’s interests, regularly share interesting family stories with him, and discuss your plans for the weekend or family vacation with him. All this will strengthen the relationship between you and above all – it will give your teenager confidence and a sense of security to share with you in the future.


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